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A Guide
For Hashers
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Introduction This guide has been pulled together from various sources, both local and national. The overall format is unashamedly borrowed/stolen from Zippy TC’s “A Guide For Hares”, published by the Pikes Peak HHH. I thank him for his unknowing contribution to this effort. Various Hash websites contributing to this guide also include the White House Hash, (WH4); Over the Hump, (OTH4); the Richmond H3, and many others. If I have left anyone off and you read something and realize you wrote it, my most humble apologies. I’d love to take credit for the wisdom and knowledge tucked into the following pages, but those that know me well, know what a pile of crap that would be. I would also like to thank the numerous hashers of the 7H4 that have helped me along the way, both learning what it means to be a hasher, as well as for contributing to this guide. Many of our Home Hash Traditions are here due to their efforts. Pink Panther, Rusty pu$$y, Quality Porker, Uncle Tom’s Bitch, Light Up A Fag, Humpire, Skidmark, and anyone else whose name I have forgotten to mention. Although many of the nuggets in here are directly related to Haring Trail, it is also meant to offer explanation to the many traditions that surround the Hash as a whole. Haring is the most important responsibility that can be entrusted to a hasher. It takes planning, insight, creativity, and yes, some panache to lay an exciting trail and establish the conditions for a great Down-Down afterward. This guide is written based on the traditions of the 7H4 and the many hard lessons learned over the past 10+ years of hashing in and around Lynchburg. You might think that the detail contained this guide (4,000+ words) may seem to be a bit overboard (or even anal) for a group which essentially has no rules, but there's a good reason for it. Everything contained herein will help you, the hare, avert the known and avoidable pitfalls a$$ociated with haring. Simply put, no hare should be condemned to repeat the mistakes of others. But also, it is for the newer hasher to read and get familiar with the sometimes crazy things that go on in the Hash. It is in this spirit that the 7H4 Guide For Hashers is written.
Planning the Hash 1. Probably the most difficult part of haring is arranging a suitable place for the Down-Downs. This; however, is not an insurmountable problem and should not dissuade you from taking your turn as a 7H4 hare. Some thoughts follow: a. Plan where you want to end and then plan where you want to start. There are more starting places than ending places. b. Start fairly close (by auto) to the end. The fewer people you have to ferry back to the start, the better. Hares have gotten in trouble this way before. c. There should be enough parking space at the start for everyone expected to show up. Also, make sure that it's okay to park there. Hashers seem to get pi$$ed off when they get back from the DOWN-DOWN and find that their cars have been towed. If there isn't sufficient parking space and you simply must use this location, you'll have to gather at another spot where parking is adequate and carpool or shuttle to the start. This adds a degree of complexity to the hash which isn't recommended under normal circ#mstances. d. While it might be warm enough to have a winter DOWN-DOWN outdoors, it's by no means guaranteed that the weather will cooperate. Therefore, you should plan arranging an indoor DOWN-DOWN site from mid-October through mid-April. 2. If ending the hash at a public establishment (bar, tavern, pub, etc.), coordinate with the owner (or manager) well in advance.
a. Have an alternate indoor location in mind. b. Think about shortcuts for really bad weather or even calling off a part of the trail when the weather's too bad.
a. While not required, themed hashes can be fun. Some traditional 7H4 theme hashes include: Cinco De Mayo, Red Dress, Halloween, and Diaper Hashes (New Year’s Day). For your hash, try to come up with something new and appropriate. Some examples: have hashers put on clothing left at checks, hide stuff around checks (scavenger hunt), well you get the idea, use your imagination. b. Caveat: If you encourage hashers to wear costumes then take them through costume shredding shiggy, they will revolt. Best costume hashes are in high visibility areas. c. Birthdays. Let's be frank, birthdays are not all that unusual, everyone has one a year. Therefore, you might want to consider a theme other than a celebration of yourself. d. Be sure to explain what's expected of the hounds at the chalk talk, or in the publicity if it entails costuming.
Coordination 1. Let the Beermeister know what kind of beer support you'll need. If you plan on having a beer check and the end is in your back yard, the beer requirement for him is far different than if there's no beer check and the end is at a public establishment. a. It's the hare's responsibility to contact the Beermeister, preferably a few weeks before the hash but certainly not later than one week before the hash. He'll need to know whether you need a keg (and where it should be delivered) and whether or not there'll be a beer check. b. Please be considerate of the Beermeister. He's got the worst (but most important) job in the hash. Don't force him to chase you down to find out what your beer needs are. 2. If the Down-Down is at a bar, inform the Hash Cash at the start of the hash to arrange transfer of funds to pay for beer at the bar. 3. You can swap dates with another hare but you must let the Hare Raiser know. This is not to obtain permission, but simply to keep the attending confusion to the minimum. 4. Let the Hareraiser know where the hash ends before the hash begins. He'll place the DOWN-DOWN information on the Hash Hotline (434-582-8076) after the hash is well underway. This allows people who become lost on trail and those who miss the start to be able to find everyone at the Down-Down.
Money Matters Note: Capitalized, the term Hash Cash refers to the person who manages the financial resources of the 7H4. When written in lower case, hash cash represents the actual financial resources (i.e., the money). 1. It's important that hares understand the use of hash cash and not unknowingly undertake expenditures which are not reimbursable. Specific guidelines follow: a. The Hash Cash collects $3.00 from each hasher per hash, with the exception that hares do not pay. The reason hares do not pay is that they encounter expenses which hounds do not. Such expenses include: flour, chalk, and flyer creation/reproduction. b. For each hash that does not end at a public establishment, the Hash Cash will fully reimburse the Beermeister for the beer purchased for the Hash. c. For hashes which end at a public establishment, the Hash Cash will provide the hares $3.00 per person who actually paid. Example: There are 43 people at the hash including 3 hares. The Hash Cash will provide the hares $120 (40 paid hashers times $3) to spend at the bar. i. The hash will not pay for unlimited beer. It is up to the hare to negotiate reasonable prices and to make financial settlement with the establishment. Please don't forget to figure in the serving staff's gratuity. ii. Once the hash cash is exhausted, the hares can buy additional beer at their personal expense, or "pa$$ the hat" for donations to keep the beer flowing. 2. About food: The hash cash is used primarily to buy beer and soft drinks. If more elaborate fare is desired, it is strictly at the hares' discretion and expense. 3. About "good" beer: To stretch the hash cash as far as possible, the Beermeister's selection of beer is rather pedestrian (read cheap). If the hares wish, they may of course supply higher quality (homebrew, microbrew, commercial premium) beer themselves. However, reimbursement will only be at the rate of an equivalent amount of our normal cheap beer. Example: If the hares buy a keg of Fat Tire Ale for $110, the Hash Cash will only reimburse them whatever's the going price of a keg of Busch (around $60.00 at present). 4. If you have questions, contact the Hash Cash or MisManagement..
a. WHAT: (7H4 Hash #???) b. WHEN: (Sunday, Month, Day, Year, @3:00 pm) c. WHERE: d. HARES: e. THEME: (If any) f. DOG/STROLLER FRIENDLY: Yes/No g. ON-BEFORE: h. BRING: $3.00, a whistle, and a hashbag i. DIRECTIONS: (if needed)
Planning the Trail
Length Description
Difficulty Description
3-4 miles Short
Little or no shiggy, flat or only a few small hills Easy
4-5 miles Medium
Some shiggy, some hills Moderate
Over 5 miles Long
Much shiggy, much vertical work Difficult
Once you've evaluated the trail, use the descriptions above for use in the publicity campaign for your hash. This is a simple courtesy to give the hounds some idea of what they're up against and can serve to head off later complaints about the trail. 6. Plan for a Hash Wagon to get baggage to the end and on cold (or rainy) days, to the beer check. If you need help, enlist the a$$istance of an auto hasher. 7. Don't cross private land without permission. 8. Safety: Remember that not everyone is a rock climber. Avoid the truly dangerous stuff. Examples include, but are not limited to: culverts in thunderstorm season (May-September), the U.S. 29/460 highways, and any crossing of Pink Panther’s back yard. 9. Use trails (even deer trails) to avoid d@mage to slopes, etc. 10. Include a beer check to regroup and permit the less athletic (and the lost) time to catch up to the pack. 11. Beer check: Beer Checks are nice to have on short, cool trails. REQUIRED on long trails or in hot weather. a. Plan the logistics of the beer check carefully. You'll need to get the beer there before the FRBs arrive and clean up the area after everyone leaves. It should be a place where the hashers can enjoy a beer without getting hara$$ed. Avoid places where a group of 40-50 people drinking will draw undue attention. Out of sight under a bridge usually works fairly well. b. You can also stash the beer, in a cooler or whatever (i.e., an unmanned beer check). If you do this, please leave a trash bag for the empties and don't forget to return and pick it up after the hash. c. Water: i. Always have sufficient drinking water available at the beer check. ii. While it's an individual responsibility to prevent one's own dehydration (that is to carry a water bottle on trail), there should be little or no extra effort to provide water at the beer check. Hashers will use this water to both drink and to refill their water bottles. iii. Many people prefer water on the trail and defer their beer drinking until the Down-Down. Others will enjoy a drink of water and a brew. iv. If you say it's a dog friendly trail, you should provide enough water for both people and dogs. v. If you provide water in bulk, also provide a means for people and animals to drink it. This mean plastic or paper cups. vi. Again, If you need help, enlist the a$$istance of a auto hasher.
a. Actual weather conditions on the day of your hash can wreck havoc with the best laid plans. b. Even the best laid trails can be misread or overlooked by the pack, resulting in a confused pack. c. Once the hash starts, it's no longer in your control. d. Every hare has a trail that will not work.
Laying the Trail
a. Use lots of flour. Use lots of flour. This can't be emphasized enough. b. Ideally, hounds should be able to see the next mark from the last. c. Hash marks should be placed about 25 yards or so apart. Marks should never be more than 50 yards apart d. When bushwhacking, make marks very close together. e. Consider alternate marking when bushwhacking, such as surveyor/engineer tape or toilet paper. f. Mark your trail with environmentally friendly substances. That means no spray paint and remember that after the hash you must remove anything you used that the rain won't easily eradicate (e.g., surveyor/engineer tape). g. Sidewalk chalk is great, but only when it isn't raining. h. Don't get too clever with your marking medium. Animals just might find certain things irresistible (like Froot Loops) and eat your marks. i. Also see the associated Guide to Hash Marks.
a. Rain: i. Lay your hash marks in larger than normal piles. Avoid gutters where flour is sure to get washed away. ii. Try and find places to lay it where it won't get wet, if possible. iii. Flour will stay around better if you lay it in clumps rather than just throwing it on the ground. If you squeeze the clump and set it down it will hold together better. iv. In rain, flour sticks to wood (trees, fences) better than gra$$, smooth surfaces or sidewalks. v. You really need to use a lot of flour on a wet hash because some your marks are going to get washed away no matter how good a job you do laying it. vi. Be extra careful when laying critical marks (checks, arrows, etc.) because hounds have a hell of a time figuring out what to do in the absence of trail marks. vii. Don't bother with chalk as it always gets washed away in the rain. viii. If it rains after you've laid your trail, you really should recheck it before the hash starts. b. Snow: i. Color your flour. Powdered Tempura paint (the kind you get from craft stores, that we used as kids in pre-school) or Jell-O powder works well to color flour, and both are non-toxic and biodegrade quickly. ii. Hashing in deep snow takes lots of physical effort and your trail should take this fact into account and not be too long. iii. If there's a blizzard and the Government has declared an emergency and it's illegal to drive on any public street (like in 1994), there will be no hash. This is the only exception to our scheduling philosophy of "every week, regardless of weather, year-round." Walkers Also affectionately known as the Bastard Step-Children of the Hash. The 7H4 is graced with the presence of a substantial walking crowd almost every week. For God's sake don't pi$$ 'em off!! They are a spiteful cantankerous bunch you don't want mad at you. You have several options: 1. Lay a separate walker's trail (usually a short cut off the main trail that shaves a couple miles off) 2. Provide them with a map to the beer check and end and let them fend for themselves or 3. Have a co-hare to escort them on their merry way to the end. DO make sure they get to the beer, DON'T detour them around all the shiggy. Them sparkling white walking shoes are nauseating as hell. 4. They generally don’t like getting their hands soiled, but that shouldn’t deter you from trying to make a good trail for them, too.
Starting the Hash
a. Hares can enlist an autohasher to assist with the Hash Wagon, if needed. The Auto Hare can: i. Drive the Hash Wagon ii. Facilitate the beer check, if there is one. Just be sure to give your a$$istant good directions. The Down-Down1. Hare responsibilities include: a. Getting the Hash Wagon to the Down-Down site. b. All logistics involved with beer, soft drinks, ice, water, munchies, etc. c. Dealing with the property owner (both public establishment and private property) in all matters financial and diplomatic. d. In public establishments setting aside sufficient beer for the down-downs. e. Returning people to the start to retrieve their cars. f. Cleaning up the Down-Down venue after the festivities. g. Establishing a Lost & Found for the inevitable misplaced items of personal property. 2. Hare responsibilities do not include the actual conduct of hash business. This is the sole purview of the Hash Mismanagement.
Being A Pack Member Ok. So you aren’t the Hare. What do you do? Just show up and run? Yeah, pretty much. But being part of the pack has its responsibilities, too. Finding Trail- Well, that’s the point, isn’t it? Most of the time, our friendly FRBs (Front Running Bastards) will do the work for you. But every once in a while, if the Hares do their job right, you will find yourself at the front looking for trail. Be aware of hashmarks - they can be on the road, side-walks, telephone poles, curbs, trees, signs, buildings, fences, under vehicles, walls, and other structures. Remember if you run out of trail (no more hashmarks) go back to the last hashmark made by the hares and try to find the trail from that point. On occasion a hare may draw a diagram or write a message to indicate the trail (normally to change directions or cross open areas or roads) or "Go to the third building and turn left". Other pack members may call out to you to ask if you are on trail. If you hear “Are You?”, they are looking for clues to trail. If you have found trail marks, call out “ON ON” to let them know you are on a trail. If you see a True Trail Arrow, call out “True Trail” and give three blasts on your whistle. If you are still trying to find a trail mark, and someone asks you “Are You?”, reply with “Looking” to let them know you are not on trail, either. USE OF WHISTLE- Whistles are used to simulate the baying of the hounds. Use of the whistle is an important part of the Hash Trail; therefore, it is every hasher's responsibility to use the whistle as indicated below.
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HASH GLOSSARY
Hash language is unique to those who chose to participate in this activity. All terms cannot be covered in this guide; however, the most used/important ones are provided below. A hasher's vocabulary will increase as he becomes familiar with the 7H4 and other Hashes.
The Hash. Term used to refer to the collective bunch of misfits comprised of individual hashers.
Hare. Hasher(s) who lays trail for the pack.
Pack. Hashers following the trail laid by the Hares.
Hasher. A generic term for both male and female members of the 7H4 or other Hash.
Start. Marked by the hares at the start point for the Hash Trail.
Hashmark. A splash of flour, paper strips, or other marks which will not litter the area, used by the hares for marking trail. Normally hashmarks are 50-75 yards apart or closer depending on the terrain. Be on the lookout for hashmarks - they can be on roads, sidewalks, telephone poles, curbs, trees, signs, buildings, fences, under vehicles, wall and other structures. Hashmarks are utilized by the hares to mark the trail for the pack to follow.
Intersection. Made by the hares only!!! Chalked or powdered at any location where the hare indicates there are two or more possible trails or paths to follow (normally only one of them will be a continuation of true trail). Intersections are used to slow down the FRB's and keep the pack together.
True Trail Arrow. These are made by the hares only!!!! Indicate the actual direction of the trail.
Check Back. Check Backs are used to slow down the fast runners and keep the pack together.
Pack Arrow. A pack arrow is used by members of the pack to indicate the direction a hasher went. A pack arrow is NOT always true trail. Many times, hashers will put their initials on pack arrows - do not confuse pack arrows with true trail arrows.
Point of Lager. A Point of Order. During the Down-Down circle, if a Pack member wishes to address the HM or the rest of the pack, he requests the opportunity to do so by calling for a Point of Lager from the HM. This is done by placing your vessel on your head, and holding it there while asking the HM for a Point of Lager. Once the HM grants the Point of Lager, the pack member can speak to the pack.
Short Cutter's Pack Arrow. An arrow made be a short cutter who is not on true trail and thinks he knows where he is going but is normally totally lost.
Bad Trail (BT). Used to indicate a false trail. Also called backtrack, or “You’ve Been f*cked”. Marked at intersection by members of the pack with a BT, YBF, or lll. Only hares can mark BT away from the intersection.
Maps. Used by the hares to cross open areas or major roads so shortcutters cannot find true trail. Maps may be drawn out or written messages. Only the hares can leave maps.
FRB. Front (or fast) running bastard.
SCB.Short cutting bastard.
Water Stop/Beer Check. A water/beer stop set up by the hares. A must on hot days and fortunately has both water and beer.
Are You?. Call made from one pack member to another asking if they are on trail. The proper response would be:
(1)"On-On" if yes, (2) “Looking” if unsure, (3) “No”, if not on trail or shortcutting.
Looking. Call made by pack members looking for trail.
On-On. Call made by pack member to signify that they are on the true trail. Not to be confused with "On-Ons" that are a social gatherings after the down-downs and the Hash has ended.
Beer Near. This is a mandatory mark made by the hares. If seen on trail, it indicates that you are within 1/4 - 1/2 mile of the finish. It must be spelled correctly and there are no intersections between "beer near" and finish.
Finish. This indicates the end of trail. You have successfully navigated the trail to its end. Finish must be written or in some manner marked by the hares. The trail is not complete unless finish is marked.
Sign-In. Each hasher should sign-in at the finish of the Hash Trail. All hashers must be accounted for before the Hash is finished.
Caught Hare. A hare is caught when a member of the pack touches him/her and says "caught hare". The hare must be marking the trail and must have either chalk or flour in his possession before he is considered ca